Chapter 6: 21,425 Bodies

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It’s a secret from everyone, but I use Gooogle lookout service to detect enemies, so I’m not worried about enemies at all.

However, my actions appeared to be extremely careless for soldiers.

Entering villages defenselessly without checking its safety.

Entering rivers defenselessly without checking its safety.

Entering mountains defenselessly without checking its safety.

Because I’m extremely dependant on the high-performance climbing power of Kelhya-gou, my favorite horse, it made the whole platoon feel that action has too much mobility, so as a result, Kelhya-gou, my favorite horse, was taken away from me. Why!?

[As the result of Karl-sama’s actions, the anxiety and distrust inside this platoon is rising]

Yeah, that’s right.

I can’t argue back at all.

Because of that, now Kelhya-gou is flirting with Albrecht-kun the adjutant.

Inside the wagon of transportation corps where I was thrown into, that flirting is displayed to me.

Ah, Kelhya ate the carrot from Albrecht-kun’s hand.

Are you saying that everyone is okay as long as they give you carrot huh? Kelhya-gou!

And at least place me on a passenger wagon please.

What are you thinking to make me ride on the same wagon as luggage, huh? Even as a joke, I’m this country’s prince, you know?

It’s as if I’m a troublesome luggage!

Well, it’s right though!!

Useless in battle, useless in leading.

All right, I said something good! It’s not that good in German though

[TL note: a pun, the battle and leading on the previous line are both read as sentou, but different kanjis]

However, battle huh.

When the time comes, certainly it will be difficult to fight.

On par with an amateur with sword, on par with an amateur with spear, and when I try to pull a bowstring, it will fly to my face with a ‘bechin’

Under this kind of prince, certainly anyone wouldn’t want to fight.

When I’m looking at the mail order catalogue while thinking there must be a weapon that allows me to fight, and then I found weapons with cool names such as Graviton beam irradiation device, Molecular bond collapse wave cannon, but my Divine Protection is Boobs, so I can’t use it. Who is the Boobs-man who can’t be exposed or known?

My <Divine Protection> is Boobs.

Therefore, there’s a need for me to think up the method of fight with Boobs as a pretext.

If I include some boobs divine protection’s special characteristic bullshit in the name, won’t that convince everyone?

Boobs, boobs, nipple, nipple…… ha!? Just now, I think I came up with something good.

Sensei, is my idea seems possible?

[If we look aside from its efficiency and its appearance, it’s possible.]

Alright, with this I can also join the battle!

I can fight without feeling ashamed as an army commander or as this country’s prince!

And just like this, the battle method has been established inside my brain, on the other hand, the treatment didn’t change at all.

Spending the day inside a rocking wagon like a lullaby song, and staying the night inside Rottenmeier-san’s mansion.

I might just die with so much spare time if I can’t watch videos with my in-brain internet in my spare time.

And now, we are getting further away from the town nearest to the country border, and we are heading towards the Northern Basel fortress that defends the border.

I don’t know whether those goblins became bandits midway through, or it’s their lifestyle in the first place, we were ambushed by them, but they become lumps of meat after Albrecht-kun, who has Grade 1 < Sword> Divine Protection, swings his sword.

Even if we say this place is the border with the fantasy world, it doesn’t mean we’re allied or have already signed non-aggression pact with all of the races, so many small fry characters from nostalgic RPG games like goblins, orcs, kobolds, etc. do evil deeds human race’s territory.

And, it‘s troublesome when an intelligent life-being such as dragon or unicorn come around.

Pegasus-san is relatively popular, but unicorn-san, one of the fanatic virgin believer is greatly hated, because they will stab every men and non-virgin girls to death. And of course, women who claims that they are virgins are unpopular with men too, so they are treated with a somewhat violent way to the extent they wish to return home instead. They are fulfilled mainly in the form of sending them to the heavens.

It’s a sacred beast for fantasy world’s people, but for us, it is only a sex beast.

In the first place, what is the treatment for deflowered female unicorn?

After a stallion stabs a mare with their ‘horn’ on a certain region, will they stab the female to death with their horn on their head?

It is an extremely brutal living being. Please go extinct by all of means.

Virgins are sacred, but that doesn’t mean you’re also sacred so don’t misunderstand, horned horse!

While I’m thinking that kind of stupid thing, the wagon is still rocking, and finally we arrived at the Northern Basel fortress, the fortress that protects the country border.

If I consider about it carefully, this is a procession of a hundred like a daimyo’s.

Although without any demons or bandits attacking us, it’s certainly a journey for my debut.

Our battle results, only 5-6 Goblins?

Fufufu, the results of the debut is this, huh.

Even though I worry about the reason for me to live enough for me to suffer from it, the results are only this?

Really, life won’t always be stable.

“Because we have already arrived at the fortress wall, our journey have ended. Let’s just start our return trip.”

“You can’t. You must greet the commander of this fortress properly”

Albrecht-kun, you are bad at handling the mood.

Therefore to carry out this half-hearted fortress consolation, we pass through the gates, and after my platoon arrived at the courtyard, this fortress’ commander along with the guards give a respectful bow by kneeling down. Towards Albrecht-kun who is riding Kelhya-gou.

Ah, I forgot to dismount from this rocking wagon.

Let’s drag Albrecht-kun down from my favorite horse, Kelhya-gou, and reclaim my favorite horse’s back.

“Border surveillance and defense are laborious tasks. Just take it easy and raise your face”

Before they bow, the one who rode Kelhya-gou was Albrecht-kun, but after they raise their head, the one who ride it changes into an 11 years-old child with a flat face.

The commander’s eyes became a dot, it’s cute.

Kukuku, that Albrecht, because he treats me crudely every time, I have to experience something like this.

You don’t have enough respect towards a royalty. Fuhahahaha.

“My name is Karl Gustav von Grosse, the third prince of Grosse Kingdom. I’m delighted at the sight of everyone’s loyalty…”

I activate my magic card, Grosse royal family special skill, ‘Make it as if it never happened’.

Following the commander, the soldiers also read the mood, and give their salute again.

“This place is the border. Consequently, this place is the cornerstone of national defense too, so we can’t neglect the military service for the formal etiquette. Therefore, all of the guards may return to their respective posts. Because we will prepare some food from a cook that have Grade 1 <Cooking> Divine Protection, all of you may wait and expect it tonight.”

The real problem, they are consoled by the delicious food rather than my words.

Today, I see Albrecht-kun’s ungraceful figure, just for that one point, I think I achieved something from this journey.

Receiving various kinds of up-down receptions from each town we passed, from welcomed friendly to plain disappointment had taken its toll on my heart

That agricultural village was excellent. They don’t have any excess expectations just because I’m a prince.

There’s no little brother that excelled over his elder brother.

Everyone, please understand about that.

And this marks my last destination in my journey.

I stand and try to look around from the top of Northern Basel fortress’ wall, the border between human race and fantasy race.

Speaking of why this fortress is called Northern Basel fortress, it’s because Southern Basel Fortress exist on the other side of this river.

It’s Switzerland’s territory it in the old world, but if we choose Rhine river as a border line, the north side of it will be treated as our royalty’s land.

The southern side of Rhine River is the fantasy race’s territory, and the northern side is the human race’s territory, but from human eyes, maybe there’s no particular difference worth mentioning.

Because on the other side of the river, there’s a fortress and a forest, and on this side are like that too, a fortress and a forest.

If there’s no human’s hand involved, wherever and everywhere will be a forest.

It will be a heaven for ecologist. And you can say it as kingdom of wilderness too.

On the other side, there seems to be a fortress made by fantasy world human, and thus, both sides glared at each other as soon as you arrive.

However, except human, this world is a savage world, but it looks like in this world there’s a good neighbourhood relations practised between humans.

Between human from human world and fantasy world, even though it is the most confusing in words, and in addition, there’s no visible differences distinguishable with naked eyes.

In a sense, it feels as if we are at the other country, but in a racial sense, they aren’t too different with human race.

If we say it in Japanese sense, Caucasian blondes and other foreigners would look the same to us.

“Fantasy race’s human aren’t too different with the people over here.”

“Yeah, even if we sit side by side with them, we still can’t distinguish them with our eyes, so we must always be on guard if there was a spy among us.”

That’s how the commander and guide-san speak to us, but I can’t feel any loose atmosphere from them.

“Are the food they eat the same as our food?”

“That’s so, there’s a little difference, it’s they tend to season their cuisine lightly. Looks like they have a problem in salt distribution. Sometimes, they ask us to share our salt.”

Hmm, aren’t all of you already in good relations with the fortress from the other side?

“For example, as I go to the other side of this river to greet them, they will welcome us with hospitality, like that?”

“That’s right, I think they welcome us because both sides are good guys at heart to a moderate degree. In this fortress, we usually drink ale, but over there wine is more popular, so I think we can enjoy the different foods to suit the alcohol.”

So you don’t even bother to hide it at all, huh.

In reality, I think it’s not bad for fellow civilians (?) without conflicts to have a favorable relationship.

If you want to make enemies, rather than with humans, we already have enough with non-humans.

Nonetheless, it’s still not good for the prince from the neighbouring country to pass the border, so I will endure it.

Because 11 years-old child can’t drink.

And, if I only want to see it, there’s Gooogle-sensei map service, so let’s endure it.

Therefore, I will turn on the map function.

Fumufumu, Rhine River is the border line, and they prepared their primary defensive line all over the place along the Rhine River.

And, in the rear, a fortress city was built, so it can give some logistical support in emergency.

Good job, my army.

And, the other side of the river is…… somehow it’s bright red.

On the map, approximately 10 km to the south, there’s a lot of bright red dot.

Sensei, wuts this?

[The red dot is an enemy marking that I think as harmful for Karl-sama]

Fumufumu, in other words, on the other side of the river, there’s a lot of enemies.

[Yes, like that. Currently, their speed per hour is 300 m/h to north, and they will arrive here at tomorrow afternoon.]

“Hahaha, tomorrow after, huh. So, there’s still 24 hours to go, right?”

[Precisely, 21 hours 40 minutes to go. And also, this calculation can change due to their marching speed fluctuation. ]

“I see I see. So, how many?”

“Currently the confirmed enemies, 21,425 bodies.”

Oooh, there’s over twenty thousand enemies 10 km to south of the other side of the river, and they are going to the north slowly.

And, everyone in this fortress doesn’t realize about that.

Ahahahahaha. Sensei!! What happened to Gooogle lookout service!?

[Lookout service is a service that predicts dangerous events that will happen within 6 hours. For this occasion, there’s still some time to go until postponement time, so there’s no voice warning.]

Hahaha, the generation who never read the help properly will have troubles at times like this.

Ah, I hear some military shoes’ sound.

……What should I do?

For now, let’s project the enemy using 3D map function.

Bugs bugs bugs bugs bugs bugs bugs bugs bugs bugs bugs bugs bugs bugs bugs bugs bugs bugs bugs bugs bugs bugs bugs bugs bugs bugs bugs bugs bugs bugs.

Bugs bugs bugs bugs bugs bugs bugs bugs bugs bugs bugs bugs bugs bugs bugs bugs bugs bugs bugs bugs bugs bugs bugs bugs bugs bugs bugs bugs bugs bugs.

Bugs bugs bugs bugs bugs bugs bugs bugs bugs bugs bugs bugs bugs bugs bugs bugs bugs bugs bugs bugs bugs bugs bugs bugs bugs bugs bugs bugs bugs bugs.

Bugs bugs bugs bugs bugs bugs bugs bugs bugs bugs bugs bugs bugs bugs bugs bugs bugs bugs bugs bugs bugs bugs bugs bugs bugs bugs bugs bugs bugs bugs.

Bugs bugs bugs bugs bugs bugs bugs bugs bugs bugs bugs bugs bugs bugs bugs bugs bugs bugs bugs bugs bugs bugs bugs bugs bugs bugs bugs bugs bugs bugs.

Noooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo!!

Doesn’t the mantises with size near that of a human look just like a black carpet with this amount!

The battle scene of the black mantises’ army versus the long-eared elves is being projected.

The result of Gooogle-sensei’s battle power analysis, it’s like 10:0 in the black mantises’ favor.

It was said that their sickle, boasts hardness on par with a high-speed steel, and the shells that cover its body are the same too.

Their soft spots are only their eyes and the crevice between their joints and they can’t fly, their abdomen is covered with shell too, so it doesn’t have any part that can be called a weak point.

And their opponents are the long-eared elves that mainly uses bow and wind magic as their means of attack.

It just their iron arrows are blocked by their shell with hardness on par with high-speed steel, and vacuum blades only can scratch its surface as if it was a breeze.

Looks like they don’t have enough hardness, speed, and weight in their attack to injure those black mantises. Ahh, Metal S*ime.

Fortunately, the long-eared forest elves attacks them one-sidedly from long distance above the trees, so they don’t have any casualty yet.

In addition, their opponent, black mantis’ tactics is demolishing trees from its root.

Looks like they won’t have to worry about wood for one hundred years after the war.

As the trees collapse, the elves jump to the trees behind them, but outside of battlefield, those black mantises are demolishing the trees that would be used as the escape route for elves steadily.

Those black mantises are using the crane wing formation that looks like the letter ‘へ’, leaving demolished trees on their wake, going to the north.

The cutting speed at the center is slow, and the cutting speed on the outside is fast, so the encirclement from both flanks are complete, so when the ‘へ’ becomes ‘o’ formation, the elves will be doomed.

If your hand can’t reach the sour grapes, it’s fine to just cut the tree, isn’t it?

What a rational solution to overturn Aesop’s fables from its root.

[TLNote: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Fox_and_the_Grapes]

I think those bugs aren’t a big deal, but I must make a tactic properly.

Every living beings that can’t jump to the trees will be mowed down by the black mantises and die.

Their speed is 300m/h to the north because they have to cut down trees one at a time, so if they don’t, how fast will they be?

[If they don’t cut the trees, I think their moving speed will be 30 km/h. Because the Kelpie that Karl-sama used can run with speed over 60 km/h, it’s possible to take refuge safely. And even if you can’t use Kelpie, I think you can just buy air transportation and take refuge with it safely.]

Ah, that’s quite a rational decision, isn’t it?

Sensei doesn’t recognize anyone as Homo sapiens except me, so as usual his decision is inhuman.

For now, let’s report about the approaching danger to the commander.

Although they are peace fools, there’s a person with <Divine Protection> for monitoring the forest, so when I ask a monitoring soldier that has Grade 5 <Eyes> Divine Protection to observe the forest, it is confirmed there’s something fighting with something over there.

Yeah, I can see something moving restlessly.

Although I don’t know the thing that is moving in the shadows cast by trees.

And, because the threat are going to the north, so emergency strategy meeting is opened.

Following commander who is at the dining room, the former strategy meeting room, all of the soldiers are at their wit’s end.

All members in this fortress, 50 personnel, and all platoon members, 100 personnel.

But since every soldier here in the fortress are too used with easy jobs, they can’t seem to grasp the actual strength of enemy’s forces, so we’re trying to think up of a strategy.

Hmm, something is wrong.

Ah, just knowing one stratagem from Sun Tzu’s Art of War, that is ‘know thine enemy, know thyself’, I will be one step ahead of everyone.

No information = No means for making strategy, everyone didn’t realize about that.

The first thing to do is to scout that place right? But we might cross the border so that’s not good.

And so, first is beyond the river, let’s cross over the border and send a letter of advice to the commander.

Then, somehow, after we crossed the Rhine River, the commander from south came to our fortress along with us, holding his head as if he is at his wit’s end.

Both of the commanders from Northern Basel and Southern Basel fortresses, cordially holding their head as if they are at their wit’s end.

Ah… incompetent people.

Now then, rather than that there’s another important thing, that is we must think a way to protect the elves who are fighting with delaying tactics voluntarily, however, I am a foreigner prince. It’s basic human nature wanting to help fellow humans but they must somehow do it themselves with their own soldiers.

There’s still 5 hours left until the Black mantises’ ‘へ’ formation becomes complete ‘o’, after that, in a few hours it’s munching time for the insects, and it would be the most satisfactory if they stop their march to the north, but the insect race is a race that doesn’t know when to stop, just like a tuna, living a manly life, so it is without doubt that they will continue north.

“How about this plan? First, let’s send a scout to gather information about the enemy’s strength, and at the same time we will ask for reinforcements from another fortress city around here.”

Don’t make a ‘that’s it!’ face, you both! I think the scout and reinforcement request are already done.

Even if I go to the fortress city on Kelhya-gou’s top speed, it would still take 5 hours to arrive, and even if I hasten the normal troops to start their march without taking any sleep, it would still take 2 days to arrive at the fortress, furthermore, we have to start from deciding the formation for the reinforcements army, so I think we will be too late. Tohoho.

“By the way, is there anyone who can predict who are currently in combat in the southern forest?”

Even though I know the answer, acting is painful for me.

“I think one side is the elves from the southern forest, but I don’t know the race they are fighting with. I think it is something like goblins, orcs, or another hostile race.”

Even though the commander from the south knows something regarding the elves, he has no idea about the identity of the enemy.

Maybe he is guessing that the enemy is a dragon or ogre?

If I told them that the enemies are twenty thousand black steel mantises from the insect race, no doubt that their face will be full of despair.

“How many is the elf’s numbers, and how is their combat prowess?

“It’s about five thousands if we include children and women. Regardless of their gender, all elves can use bow and magic, so I think it’s impossible for them to lose soon, but from the scout’s report, there’s no indication that the fight will stop soon.”

They can’t do something because the black mantises are a bit too solid, well it’s affinity problem.

Yeah it’s a cruel story just like a pistol which doesn’t have enough firepower to oppose a tank.

It’s just an assumption, how about burning the forest, that action includes cremating the elves too, just like killing two birds with one stone, isn’t it?

[In this season, even if we ignited a mature tree, the probability for it to spread into a forest fire is expected to be quite low.]

Yeah of course.

Can I exterminate those black mantises with sensei’s service?

[Yes, with Gooogle harmful animal extermination service, it’s possible to eliminate them within approximately 40 seconds using laser beam from a satellite]

…… again huh, actually it’s a wonderful service, isn’t it?

[It’s an honour to receive your praise]

Just make it as the last resort, and find the best way on how to use it properly.

Properly, find the best way, and mainly for my sake.

“Prince Karl. Looks like you want to stay at this fortress and participate in this battle, but I won’t approve that. Please evacuate along with us.”

Albrecht-kun’s sensible decision, made the southern and northern commander’s expressions fall into despair.

Yeah, Albrecht-kun, I don’t think it is wrong, but what will you think if you are at the shoes of the person that would be left here?

“Albrecht. Explain what the royal decree I received from my father is”

“That’s…… Exterminate the monsters along the road to preserve public safety.”

The real objective of this debut is, we are supposed to exterminate monster along the road.

So it means, the last point of that mission, this fortress is included too.

“So, if we retreat here, that would mean we disobeyed the royal decree. It’s an obvious consequence, isn’t it? Because, if those things overtake this fortress, our public order will crumble.”

“But! Your highness!!”

“Everyone stop talking! All personnel who can’t fight, retreat to Freiburg fortress city, and while doing that, please also request reinforcements from another fortress in the area. You can fully interpret it as the king’s orders since this is the royal decree I received, so order everyone. Next, after we use the Southern Basel fortress as our first diversion, make Northern Basel fortress as the true defense line using Rhine River as the barrier. Use delaying tactics all over the place as we wait for reinforcements. Commander-dono of Southern Basel fortress, since this time there’s a danger that transcends races please cooperate with us entirely, can you give us an entry to your territory?”

The southern commander can only return a nod to the eloquent words said by Prince Karl whose only 11 years old.

Albrecht-kun can’t hide his astonishment towards my drastic change, no, he stared at me with respectful eyes.

Yeah, even though I’m still young, I’m a prince!! Even though my divine protection is <Boobs>, I’m a prince!!

Fufufu, hehehe, hahahahaha, with this I can erase the Boobs prince stigma!!

You black mantises, I will gouge up and tear apart your insides and drag out wireworms within!!

Gooogle-sensei will!!

 

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12 thoughts on “Chapter 6: 21,425 Bodies

  1. Maybe he could do something like a serious public prayer to the God of Boobs, and then have them witness the power of God striking down the enemies. Basically satellite laser, but they have no idea what that is. If it works, Boobs God should received many more worshippers.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Well in some stories gods come to existance through worship of humans, so just imagine if a Boobs God would come to be and give Karl a real divine protection

      Like

      • chichigami already exists, although in a different universe, apparently trying to talk to boobs may sometimes connect you to chichigami

        Like

  2. ☆   ∧_∧
       (´・ω・`)
        /つ¶つ¶  Thanks!!
    (( (( / ̄ ̄ ̄\  Nepu!!
       |) ○ ○ ○ (|
     /″   ν.  \
    /________\
     ̄ \_\__/_/

    Like

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